n behalf of myself and the rest of the crew, I should like to welcome you aboard the SS American. We are making final preparations for our Atlantic crossing and will be embarking soon.

We are honoured to have a number of distinguished passengers with us for the trip. Miss Reno Sweeney, the famous "evangelist", and her four angels, Purity, Chastity, Charity and Virtue, will no doubt keep us diverted with their own brand of entertainment. Mrs Evangeline Harcourt, widow of the late banker, is accompanying her lovely daughter Hope and future son-in-law Lord Evelyn Oakleigh. I am sure you will join me in wishing the soon-to-be-married couple every future happiness.

The Reverend Henry T Dobson, recently returned from China, is escorting two new converts, Luke and John, on a trip to England. We are also please to welcome the noted entrepreneur and Yale man Eli Whitney who is travelling to the famous Henley Regatta (if his assistant Billy Crocker has organised his passport in time).

On a more serious note, please be on the look-out for three rather less desirable co-passengers. Moonface Martin, public enemy number 13, and his companion Erma are on the run from the law, and it is rumoured they may be travelling with us incognito. There is also a mysterious young stowaway who has been adopting numerous disguises in an effort to avoid us. Please give my crew any assistance they may require in apprehending these felons.

We are expecting fine weather and calm seas, and I trust these few distractions will not detract from your enjoyment of a very pleasant voyage. Please keep pets on their leads at all times.

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